Say NO to Bullying

Hello! 

Well, I know this subject isn’t new: bullying/cyberbullying.

I have suffered from bullying and cyberbullying, and still can’t understand why people mistreated me… after all, I had never done anything wrong – at least in what concerns them!

So, I'll start from the beginning:

In fifth grade, there were people who didn’t like me and mocked me. One day I I tried to defend myself...but in vain. Suddenly I realised I already had two hands on my neck, and the person only left me alone when I begged to. That done, I made a complaint explaining what happened, but nothing was done.            

In sixth grade, things improved, but I kept hearing bad things about me.

In seventh grade, I thought they had stopped, but an older girl started calling me horrible names. At this point, I went to visit some friends who had failed: I loved them and they were my real friends – or so I thought…

However, after a year, when they moved to my school, they became distant, perhaps feeling they were too good to be my friends. They all said I was ugly, fat etc.

My wish in all this?

To die.

Yes, die.

It seemed like a good solution. Every night, I thought about how nice it would be to die. MY suffering would end, but then I remembered all the people who loved me, and the suffering that I would cause them.

I was in a downward spiral.

Every step I took, it looked like things were getting worse.

And I ended up failing in the eighth year.

The day I found out I too had failed the school year, I cried a lot. I saw my life going backwards.

And desperate, I thought, "I am not worth anything. Why was I born? I deserve absolutely nothing."

I wanted to die again ... My parents didn’t deserve a daughter like me.

They did not deserve to suffer either...

I knew I made them suffer ... but I had to create a protective cover to protect me from the evil of people. So, still in the seventh year, I began to misbehave and to be expelled from school, to be respected by others.

My parents did not understand why the change in my behavior, and I also would not explain why once, deep down, I felt terribly ashamed of myself.

A few days after becoming aware that I had failed, I was feeling better already, because I had my parents to support me, but I had a relapse and accessed ask.fm, and saw what other people had written down: "I saw that you failed!!! Poor girl, can’t even pass the year. "

Again there was mockery here not just because of having failed, but also because of my weight…

When the new school year started, everything was going well ... I was in the class I wanted and had been welcomed with open arms. But then again, my former friends and a guy five years older were haunting me…

My former friends stopped tormenting me shortly after the beginning of this school year. But the other guy, he stalked me, he managed to put me down in such a way that I had never felt such an urge to die.

Three months later, he apologized to me and became one of the people I trusted most. That didn’t last long, though… he betrayed my trust the worst way possible. And suddenly, it was all over between us…incredible as it may seem, I felt horrible, stupid, useless...

In this, I found support in my new friends, in this amazing class, because I was ashamed to tell it all to my family. So if I'm here today, I have to thank them for the support.

How often did I fake a smile? Too often.

How often did I think of suicide? Several times.

In how many ways did I plan my death? Many.

But today, I'm here because I´ve found a reason to live: to help people who are in the situation where I WAS – but that’s all over now!

So if you suffer from bullying / cyberbullying, remember I've been in your situation, I’ve been through a lot and put up with everything you're going through. You’ll overcome it the same way I did: being strong!!!

Bullies are no one to judge you, because they have as many faults as any of us or even more.

Everyone is perfect in their own way.

Before I leave you, here are some links to related songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZly12eGpNA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj_VidtyaOc